Please listen to what I have to say
As I hope you didn’t take offense
When we chased you away from our window
You see, I was two weeks postpartum
Half asleep on the couch when
I heard noises coming from the kitchen
And assumed that my husband who was also sleep deprived
Had woken up but not fully
And was looking for something
So in my sleepy state
I wandered into the kitchen
Barefoot and bewildered
When I realized that he wasn’t there
And saw a bushy tail waving from a hole in the screen
Freaked out
Woke my husband
We ran to the kitchen
Chased you out
Slammed the window shut
Sanitized the counter
The toaster
Threw out the bread on the counter which I suspect you were after
For your breakfast
It was supposed to be mine
So again I apologize
And hope that you found some acorns to eat
And a tree to hang out in
Because we are happy for you to do that outside our home
Not in it

Thank you.