I don’t always know if what I’m seeing is true
Or a mirage of sorts
If I’m actually living the life I had planned
Or if I’ve taken a detour and still think that
I’m on the straight path I’ve dreamed of for myself
So many years ago

I think I am right in all that I do
Fool myself into believing that I’m working hard
And doing my best
But I forget to stop and check in with my innermost thoughts
And ask others for their counsel too

Sometimes when that happens, life can just keep moving
Taking me along with it for the ride
And so each day I awake and mechanically do the same things
Brush teeth, eat, drive, work, cook, play, sleep
And some other important things in between

And all that would keep happening day after day
If the monotony kept up
If nothing ever changed for me
Really changed
Enough to make me pause the ride
And switch directions, go back, or start over

So when the ride that is my life gets so rudely disrupted
As it sometimes will
When God wishes that into being
It’s hard
It hurts
To stop
To think
To redo
To try again
To realize that I need to check in with myself and others

But there is no other way to live
In this ride called life
Because it’s full of bumps
Temporary stops
Restarts
Redos
Rethinks
Resets

And that is the truth
Knowing that
It’s not half a bad
As it sounds
When things come to a halt
It forces us to choose
New beginnings
Instead of the same old stale routine
I am grateful for that
Even as I hate change
Because that is God’s way of telling me
To become more
And that I can be more of myself
Than I was before

So I pray that he give me to wisdom to change the ride
The way he wills it to be
And that I enjoy the next round
Until the next time I need things to come to a halt
Because I know I will most likely need another wake up call in the future
I pray it won’t be so harsh
I pray it will be a soft nudge
A wink
A gentle smile
An easier turn around
Of this ride called life